spent more than 15 years building a life in New York City. Then, somewhere along the way, the city I once loved stopped feeling like home. Here’s why I decided to become an immigrant for the second time, and why Spain feels more aligned with the life I want to live.

For most of my adult life, New York City was home.

I moved there in 2009 as a Turkish immigrant, full of ambition and ready to build a life for myself. And for a long time, it was everything I wanted it to be. The opportunities, the energy, the people, and the feeling that anything was possible made those early years genuinely amazing.

But somewhere after the pandemic, my relationship with New York started to change.

By 2023, I was burned out. The constant pressure to work, earn, spend, and keep moving had started to take its toll. Rent was astronomical, saving money felt increasingly difficult, and maintaining meaningful friendships in a city where people are constantly coming and going wasn’t always easy.

I began asking myself a question I hadn’t seriously considered before: What if the life I had worked so hard to build was no longer the life I wanted?

When the American Dream stops making sense

There wasn’t one dramatic moment when I decided I was done with New York. It was a gradual realization that the things I valued were no longer aligned with the lifestyle I was living.

I had spent years navigating a culture where work often seemed to define a person’s identity. Conversations could quickly turn into discussions about careers, professional achievements, and connections. Even social life sometimes felt like another competition, particularly within parts of the gay community.

And then there was the cost of simply existing.

Healthcare was one of my biggest frustrations. Even as an American citizen, I found the system expensive and unnecessarily complicated. Everyday expenses, from housing to groceries, made it difficult to feel financially comfortable without constantly working toward the next paycheck.

I also started to feel increasingly disconnected from the broader American social and political environment. The country had given me opportunities, but I no longer felt that I shared the same priorities as the society around me.

Of course, New York is still an extraordinary city, and the United States is far too diverse to fit into a single description. These are my personal experiences, not a verdict on everyone who lives there.

But I reached a point where I had to acknowledge something important: being grateful for the life you’ve built somewhere doesn’t mean you have to stay there forever.

Barcelona gave me the space to rethink everything

In 2023, I made a decision that would change the direction of my life. I took a self-funded, one-year creative sabbatical in Barcelona.

I wanted to learn Spanish, explore new interests, and give myself time to think beyond my career. Learning Spanish would also mean adding a fifth language to my life, something I had wanted to do for years.

At the time, I wasn’t necessarily planning to leave America permanently. I saw Barcelona as a temporary reset before returning to New York.

But living somewhere else has a way of changing your perspective.

I started experiencing a different rhythm of life, one where enjoying a meal, spending time outdoors, and maintaining relationships didn’t always feel secondary to work. I found myself appreciating the everyday details: fresh bread that didn’t cost a fortune, more accessible healthcare options, and social interactions that didn’t always revolve around what someone did for a living.

None of this means Spain is perfect. It has its own economic challenges, bureaucracy, housing pressures, and frustrations. But the balance felt different, and I began to question why I had spent so many years accepting a lifestyle that left me so exhausted.

For the first time in a long time, I had the space to consider what I actually wanted my future to look like.

Sometimes, starting over means making difficult personal decisions

My decision to leave New York permanently wasn’t only about comparing two countries. My personal life played a significant role, too.

After an eight-year relationship, my partner and I began to recognize that our visions for the future weren’t entirely aligned. It was painful to confront, but it also forced me to think honestly about the direction I wanted my life to take.

I had to decide whether to keep pursuing a future that no longer felt right for me or choose a path that better reflected my own needs and aspirations.

I chose myself.

I wanted to be closer to my family in Turkey and to friends across Europe. I wanted to build a life that left more room for travel, relationships, creativity, and experiences beyond work.

And I wanted to live somewhere that felt culturally and socially closer to my values.

That realization eventually brought me back to Spain, this time with a different mindset. I wasn’t just visiting or taking a break. I was making a conscious decision about where I wanted to call home.

What feels different about living in Spain?

One of the biggest differences is the way everyday life feels.

Healthcare, for example, can be much more manageable financially through Spain’s public system or suitable private insurance, depending on your residency status and circumstances. Groceries can also be more affordable, particularly when it comes to fresh, everyday staples.

But the differences go beyond money.

I appreciate a social environment where there seems to be more room for life outside your professional identity. I enjoy the opportunity to spend time with friends, explore a city on foot, and build a routine that doesn’t revolve entirely around work.

As a gay man, I also value how comfortable I feel expressing affection in public in many Spanish settings. Spain has strong LGBTQ+ legal protections and a visible queer culture, although experiences of discrimination and safety can still vary by location and circumstance.

Perhaps most importantly, I feel comfortable being myself.

As a Turkish person living in Spain, I haven’t felt the same degree of anti-Turkish or anti-Muslim prejudice that I worried about encountering elsewhere. My experience has been overwhelmingly positive, and I appreciate being able to share my background without feeling that it defines how people see me.

I don’t expect every person to have the same experience, but that sense of acceptance has made a real difference to me.

Am I American, Turkish, or European?

One of the more unexpected parts of this transition has been reconsidering my own identity.

I’m a naturalized American citizen, and I spent a significant part of my adult life in New York. That chapter shaped me in countless ways, and I wouldn’t erase it.

Yet when I’m in Spain, I find myself identifying primarily as Turkish. Perhaps it’s because I feel less pressure to explain myself, or because living outside the United States has helped me reconnect with parts of my identity that had become less prominent during my years in New York.

I don’t think identity has to be a competition between nationalities. You can carry multiple influences, feel connected to several places, and still recognize that one environment suits you better than another.

For me, moving to Spain has been about finding that alignment.

And no, moving to Europe hasn’t magically solved every problem in my life. Starting over as an immigrant comes with its own paperwork, uncertainty, financial decisions, and emotional adjustments. Even when you have the right to live somewhere, building a new life takes time.

But the challenges feel worth navigating when the life you’re building reflects what matters to you.

My next chapter starts here

Leaving New York after more than 15 years wasn’t a decision I made lightly. I left behind a familiar life, a professional identity, and a city that had once represented possibility and success.

But I also gained something I desperately needed: the freedom to reconsider what success means to me.

For years, I thought building a good life meant working hard, advancing my career, and making it in one of the world’s most competitive cities. Today, I think about success differently. I care more about how I spend my time, the people I surround myself with, the freedom to explore the world, and whether my everyday life makes me happy.

Spain isn’t a perfect answer, and I don’t believe everyone should leave the United States. But I do believe we should give ourselves permission to question the lives we’ve built, even when those lives look successful from the outside.

I became an immigrant once when I moved from Turkey to America. Now, I’ve done it again, bringing everything I learned in New York with me to Spain.

So, why did I really leave New York? What do I miss about America? What surprised me most about life in Spain? And would I make the same decision again?

I’ve shared the full story, including the personal experiences, frustrations, and realizations that led me here, in my new YouTube video.

🎥 Watch the new video on my YouTube channel and join me as I share what it really means to leave a life behind and start over in Spain.

If you’ve ever considered moving abroad, felt disconnected from a place you once loved, or wondered whether there’s a different way to live, I hope my story gives you something to think about.

Sometimes, finding your home means being brave enough to leave it.